well, let’s get caught up, shall we? the other weekend, my roommate and i decided that enough was enough. after residing in a town of 1,200 for the past two weeks, bank account be damned, we were going to a city!
in west virginia, that city is charleston. sure, you can go to morgantown for wvu sports, beckley to visit
tamarack, lewisburg for that gorgeous secondhand bookstore guy, but for a semblance of a city atmosphere, you gotta go to charleston. not that charleston is much of a city. hell, it’s about the same size as my
hometown, which isn’t slightly impressive. still, we figured, it’s better than looking at cows all weekend. so, charleston-ho!
coincidentally, we happened to choose the first weekend of festivALL! to visit charleston. it’s pretty much what it sounds like. in any other city, festivALL! would be one weekend slam-jam full of (semi) exciting things to do. in charleston, though, they spread it out over a ten day period—as a result, the excitement is rather limited. luckily, the day’s big event just happened to combine two of my favorite things: puppies and competitive sports!
i guess puppies is the wrong word—dachshunds are NOT puppies just because they’re small! my mistake. at any rate, we were privileged to see this year’s winner, stella, crowned champeen, in what was probably the cutest animal race possible. miles better than a
rattlesnake rodeo. also, i saw a uga fan with a bulldog—the inventiveness of georgia alums is simply astounding.
after a finally-decent meal, we headed downtown to catch some wv power baseball! nothing like baseball and a giant beer in the summer. or more accurately, doing the day’s crossword with a giant beer. let’s be honest: i might’ve grown up with baseball, but that doesn’t make it any more exciting. after all, i didn’t break my arm at my brother’s t-ball game by watching in rapt absorption. but, adding beer to even the most mundane activity greatly increases my enthusiasm for said activity, so baseball/crossword it was!
america's real pastime
best part of this game was the appearance of wrestling legend jerry “the king” lawler. no idea who he is? you’re not alone. turns out the dude has a pretty sweet history: getting in
kayfabe fights with andy kaufman (it was the 80’s,
who didn’t?), performing this
instant classic, running for mayor of memphis and getting a not-shabby 11% of votes, using
mussorgsky as theme music. generally being an all-around badass. among his exploits this night, the king manhandled a giant anthropomorphic mustard bottle and participated in the ninth inning rave. yes, you read that right—a rave. it doesn’t make any sense, no matter how much you think about it. sadly, despite a valiant (mediocre) effort, the power were bested. so ends day one.
day two: west virginia day! unlike our lovely neighbors to the northwest (wv) and southwest (georgia), north carolina’s celebration of statehood is somewhat…subdued. then again, west virginia’s secession was rather uniquely timed, and i guess that’s as good a reason as any for a day off. and what better way to start such a day than with a biscuit? so, to
tudor’s biscuit world we went! for you nc-ers, it’s basically a biscuitville with much less kitschy décor. also, they’re sometimes combined with a place called gino’s pasta and spaghetti. yeah. bottom line: delicious face-sized biscuits. definitely a must-try for all those of you considering a trip to west virginia (which should be everybody!).

after touring the capitol grounds and learning that booker t. washington spent a good deal of his youth in the charleston area (super interesting!), we took a tour of the west virginia state museum. friends, if ever you have the chance to enter this fine establishment, do so. nowhere else will you find preserved (and clothed) circus fleas, jerry west’s lakers jersey, and a rousing marching band version of john denver’s ‘country roads' as exit music!
seriously though, this museum, which opened last year, is fantastic. it starts way back in dinosaur times with the formation of coal, and continues up to the present day with vignette-esque scenes of west virginia’s past. so cool! among the things i learned: george washington owned a ton of land in west virginia (yeah, yeah, i know—west virginia was part of virginia once, but it’s still pretty cool);
fiestaware, possibly one of my favorite consumer goods, was created in newell, west virginia; and the coal wars were just another reason being a miner is kinda hazardous to your health (for more on how mining is awful, watch
harlan county, usa, or read
this book).
this is an ungodly long ramble, but the take-home message is this: charleston was fun, educational, and quirkily great. so visit already!